I wrote a note on my facebook page the other day and a friend of mine set up a blog for me....Thanks M! She has finally pushed me to write a blog, which I have been wanting to do for some time! It's official!
So here is what started it all:
"Freedom"
I have felt compelled lately to do some writing. I have never really considered myself much of an author. As of lately I have been experiencing a lot of good things in my life and just have a lot going on inside my head. I think writing will be a good way to get it out and make some sense of it all.
It has taken me 26 years of life, having a child and a getting a divorce for me to finally realize who I am. Seems a bit extreme, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that nothing on this earth or in this life happens without the guiding hand of God. It may seem strange to some that I say that bad things can happen to us knowing that God has a direct hand in it. I don’t think that God makes bad things happen to us on purpose, or for punishment. I think it comes from living in a sinful world and having a loving and caring God who lets us have our own free will and who has created us with a brain to make our own decisions, knowing full well that we will have to pay the consequences for the choices we make. Believe me, I have paid my dues and will continue to for the rest of my life.
I made some very large, very poor, choices. Not that I regret any of them, because after all they have led me to the place I am today, and have made me the person I am today! Don't confuse this with being sorry, I am very sorry, sorry I hurt my self and my family. Having experienced some of the things I have in this life (as short as it has been) I have learned some valuable lessons. I know now not to judge. PERIOD! I have suffered a lot due to other people’s judgment and have also suffered because I thought people were judging me when they really weren’t. I have learned that you can’t assume anything, ever. Not about people’s situations, or lifestyles, or choices. If you haven’t walked in their shoes or been inside their heads, then you have no idea what they are going through, let alone how to help them. All you can do is be the best friend that you know how, and trust me when life gets tough, you learn who your real friends are.
One of my most favorite poems is:
A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Author Unknown
I have had such a great perspective on relationships in general because of this poem. I am always sad to see someone go from my life but in the long run it is better to realize that it is better they are gone then to hang on to them for no reason.
I have experienced some hard stuff in my friendships lately. Friends that I have had for years have turned their backs on me. Some have opened their arms and hearts as wide open as they can. I have met some new friends and have even seen some of them go in a short time. Some because I chose to let them go and some have let go of me. It is really hard to let go of people you care about but in the end it is all for the best. Some one once tried to make me feel really guilty about ‘switching friends’ and ‘having a lot of new friends’. They were right to some extent. But here’s the deal, I would rather go through life having a connection of some degree with a lot of people and also having those friends that you would do anything for…even give your own life, than to go through life with no friends, or even very few friends. I feel like having relationships with people is the best way to learn about you.
I guess my whole point in writing this is, I finally feel like I am at a place in my life where I am totally comfortable with who I am. I don’t really care what other people say about me or think about me. You have never once walked a day in my shoes and I have never walked a day in yours. I love you for who you are and what you have done for me and I only expect the same in return. And always remember, life on earth is only temporary, so make the most of what you got, but home is where your heart is. And hopefully like me, it’s in heaven!
Nicole Barry 03/29/10
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